Big Baby Donnie threatened
to leave the sandbox

Where in the world could former president Donald Trump move to?

By Byron Toben

Soon to be former president Donald Trump voiced in mid-October that, if he were to lose the office to Sleepy Joe, he would consider leaving the country. This childish blurt was widely reported in Rolling Stone, USA Today, The Hill, The Daily Mail (U.K.), The Guardian, CNN and others.

Politico was the only one I found with a surmise of where he would go. This led me to consider the pros and cons of various other countries, assuming they would accept him. Considering that he might face a slew of U.S. lawsuits, whether there is an extradition treaty with that destination was one factor to consider. Other factors are whether he could, at 75, accept the lifestyle or infrastructure of the host country.

No extradition treaty countries

I counted 78 countries that do not have an extradition treaty with the USA. They range from Afghanistan to Yemen. Most are in Africa or the Middle East and are considered by Big Baby Donnie to be “shit hole countries.” Forget them.

Soon to be former president Donald Trump voiced in mid-October that, if he were to lose the office to Sleepy Joe, he would consider leaving the country.

Authoritarian countries in this list include China, Cuba, Kosovo (which has a lake named after him), North Korea, Russia (hmm…) and Saudi Arabia. No good unless he is the authority so… forget them.

Other possible countries

Bahamas – Close to Florida and currency at par with U.S. dollar.

Bermuda – A British Overseas territory, has recently offered one- year residencies. It also has more golf courses per square mile than any country in the world.

Bahrain – Rich with oil and hates Iran but also too close to Iran geographically.

Panama – Lots of legal banking secrecy. Also, the balboa is tied to the U.S. dollar, so no currency risk.

Poland – He is a hero there, the most pro-American country in Europe.

Slovenia – Melania is originally from there.

United Kingdom – Boris Johnson might welcome him and share their COVID-19 experiences.

A 5-star Bahamas hotel – Image: YoTuT via StockPholio.net

Rule out

Denmark – Rankling over Greenland offer.

Canada – Mad about being placed in the middle of the U.S./China Interpol arrest of a Huawei executive.

Germany – Many conflicts despite Trump’s German ancestry.

Mexico – Too many “rapists and murderers” would relish his proximity.

Norway – Although he wanted immigrants from “countries like Norway”, there is no way Norwegians would want to leave a Social Democratic country with Medicare for all, nor welcome one who is against it.

Scotland – If it separates from the U.K. post-Brexit (still mad about failed golf course con).

All things considered, if he does leave the country in a pique, I predict the Bahamas.

I do admit that Russia would be a tempting choice, especially if they gave him an apartment in the same building as Edward Snowden. Imagine the conversations.

‘All things considered, if he does leave the country in a pique, I predict the Bahamas.’

Anyway, despite the threat, it is unlikely he would leave. If he would, which destination do any readers feel makes the most likely choice? Best response with reason by noon December 5 wins a Can $5 bill from big spender me.

Images: Karen Roe via StockPholio.net

More articles from Byron Toben

Byron Toben, a past president of The Montreal Press Club, has been WestmountMag.ca’s theatre reviewer since July 2015. Previously, he wrote for since terminated web sites Rover Arts and Charlebois Post, print weekly The Downtowner and print monthly The Senior Times. He also is an expert consultant on U.S. work permits for Canadians.