Dear Single Mothers:
Happy Father’s Day!

A personal journey of strength and resilience

By Mona Andrei

June 13, 2024

Life is only going to get harder for you now.

This was my brother’s response after I told him that I had broken up with someone I like to refer to as Mr. What-Was-I-Thinking. At the time, I was a young mother learning how to wrangle a baby and a toddler – basically running my own mini-circus.

In many ways, my brother was right. Even though I was already doing all the housework… even though I was already the only one with a steady paycheque, I had no idea how lonely my life would become as a single mother.

The sleepless nights, the financial struggles, and the constant juggling between work and home were challenging. I can remember questioning – on an almost daily basis – my ability to provide, nurture, and be both mother and father to my two young daughters.

And yet, I stand here today and can say with 100% certainty that I made the right decision to leave the father of my children.

‘While the rest of the world celebrated fatherhood, for me, it was a reminder of the hole in my children’s lives. I was consumed by feelings of guilt and a sense of failure.’

Looking back, I think that the hardest day of the year for me during those early years as a single mother was Father’s Day. While the rest of the world celebrated fatherhood, for me, it was a reminder of the hole in my children’s lives. I was consumed by feelings of guilt and a sense of failure. I wondered if I was enough… I questioned if my girls were missing out on something only a father figure can provide.

Then, one day, I realized that something had to change. This time, it was my mindset. This is when I started looking at my status as a single mother with a different perspective.

I WAS enough. And we WERE a family. The only thing missing was my own recognition of what I was for my children.

That’s when I started honouring Father’s Day as MY day. After all, I was both mother and father to my girls. Why not celebrate both Mother’s Day and Father’s Day?

‘Father’s Day doesn’t have to be a painful reminder of what’s missing. Instead, it can be a celebration of the unique and multifaceted role that single mothers play in their children’s lives…’

Celebrating Father’s Day as a Single Mother

Father’s Day doesn’t have to be a painful reminder of what’s missing. Instead, it can be a celebration of the unique and multifaceted role that single mothers play in their children’s lives, and here are three reasons why:

1. Recognize Your Dual Role
   As single mothers, we take on both parenting roles. We are the nurturers, the disciplinarians, the providers, and the protectors. Celebrating Father’s Day is a recognition of the dual role we play in our children’s lives. It’s a day to honour our dedication and unwavering love.
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2. Set a Positive Example
   By celebrating Father’s Day, we set a positive example for our children. We teach them that family structures can be diverse and that love and support are what truly matter in a family – regardless of our status. It’s an opportunity to instill values of resilience, independence, and self-worth in our children.
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3. Embrace Self-Care
   Celebrating Father’s Day is also an act of self-care. It’s a chance to acknowledge our efforts and to take a moment to appreciate ourselves. We deserve to be celebrated, not just as mothers, but as the complete and multifaceted parents we are and everything we do EVERY single day.

‘Father’s Day is an opportunity to honour ourselves and set an example for our children.’

How to Celebrate Father’s Day as a Single Mother

So, you get it. Father’s Day is an opportunity to honour ourselves and set an example for our children. But HOW do we celebrate? Here are a few ideas to get you started.

Own Your Achievements

Take some time to reflect on all you have accomplished. Write down your achievements, both big and small. Celebrate your strength, your resilience, and your dedication. Acknowledge the sacrifices you make and the love you give.

Superwoman Tip:
Instead of focusing on what’s supposedly “missing,” focus on all the positives. Remember that guilt is a lie that feeds off your attention. By feeling it, you give it power. Instead, focus on those tiny smiles and wide grins. Your child’s happiness also feeds off your attention. So, give guilt what it deserves (a boot in the ass), and give that attention to your child.

Superwoman Mantra:
Everything always works out.

‘Create new traditions that celebrate your unique family structure… The key is to create positive and happy memories with your children because far into their own adult lives, this is what they’ll remember.’

Create New Traditions

Create new traditions that celebrate your unique family structure. It could be a special meal, a family outing, or a movie night. The key is to create positive and happy memories with your children because far into their own adult lives, this is what they’ll remember.

Superwoman Tip:
When my girls were young and still mine, I didn’t have a lot of money. To be honest, a family outing was simply not in the budget. To compensate, I started a tradition that included picnics on the living room floor with milk in our wine glasses.

Superwoman Mantra:
Every day is an opportunity to create a happy memory.

‘Involve your children in the celebration… Teach them to recognize and celebrate the unique role you play in their lives as both mother and father.’

Involve Your Children

Involve your children in the celebration. Encourage them to express their love and appreciation for you. This could be through handmade cards with heartfelt messages or simply spending quality time together. Teach them to recognize and celebrate the unique role you play in their lives as both mother and father.

Superwoman Tip:
Remember that your situation is not your children’s fault, and never talk bad about your Mr. What-Was-I-Thinking. Make sure to impart that you love the roles that you play in your children’s lives.

Superwoman Mantra:
I am so lucky to be mom to these great kids.

‘Reach out to other single mothers and celebrate together. Sharing your experiences and supporting each other can be incredibly empowering and uplifting.’

Connect with Other Single Mothers

Reach out to other single mothers and celebrate together. Sharing your experiences and supporting each other can be incredibly empowering and uplifting. Plan a gathering, a virtual meet-up, or a group activity.

Superwoman Tip:
Uniting with other single mothers is a fantastic way to feel less lonely while creating a sense of community and solidarity. It’s been said that “it takes a village to raise children.” Create your own village.

Superwoman Mantra:
I am so lucky to be surrounded by other like-minded mommas.

‘Take time to pamper yourself… make sure to do something that makes you feel special and appreciated.’

Pamper Yourself

Take time to pamper yourself. Whether it’s allowing yourself to linger in bed a little longer that morning, enjoying a quiet afternoon with a good book, or simply some time alone to relax and recharge, make sure to do something that makes you feel special and appreciated.

Superwoman Tip:
A happy mom is a better parent. Make self-care part of a balanced life every day, not just on Father’s Day.

Superwoman Mantra:
I deserve everything I receive.

‘Father’s Day can be a celebration of the incredible strength and dedication single mothers are known for.’

Change Your Mindset

Father’s Day can be a celebration of the incredible strength and dedication single mothers are known for. It should be a day to honour ourselves and the dual role we play in our children’s lives. By embracing and celebrating Father’s Day, we set a positive example for our children and recognize the unique and invaluable contributions we make.

So, to all the single mothers out there: Happy Father’s Day! You are amazing, and you deserve to be celebrated!

Feature image: Ketut Subiyanto, Pexels

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Mona Andrei is the award-winning humour blogger behind Moxie-Dude.com and the author of SUPERWOMAN: A Funny and Reflective Look at Single Motherhood.