Author Mona Andrei on her
new book “SUPERWOMAN”

Montreal humour blogger shares why she wrote a book for single mothers

By Mona Andrei

“It takes a village to raise children.” When I was younger, hearing this would conjure up visions of feral children playing in the streets as random adults filled their bellies with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Looking back, this was a naïve girl’s interpretation of something that didn’t apply to her. For one thing, I didn’t have children.

And then, like most people, I grew up. Also like most people, I brought with me childhood visions of what I thought my adult life would be like. These visions included eating as much chocolate as I wanted, whenever I wanted. (Snickers for supper? Why not!) Staying up late watching movies. Sleeping in until whatever o’clock. And basically, living a carefree life without any parent-imposed limitations. As you can see, I had big dreams.

Life had other plans for me. Instead, I fell in love, had children, realized that the father to said children was a bad decision, and woke up one morning with a new neon status flashing above my head: Single Mother. It was awesome.

One morning after the break-up, I was scrambling to get my toddler and baby ready for the sitter so that I could go to work. This wasn’t actually just one morning. This was EVERY morning. But on this particular morning, I remember glancing in the mirror to find a reflection of myself. Which is ironic because this was also the beginning of me losing myself. The woman staring back at me, although only 24 years old at the time, looked haggard. And not from watching movies and eating chocolate all night. I was exhausted – even at six o’clock in the morning – from being caught beneath the weight of adulting.

Life had other plans for me. Instead, I fell in love, had children, realized that the father to said children was a bad decision, and woke up one morning with a new neon status flashing above my head: Single Mother. It was awesome.

The words “it takes a village to raise children” still did not apply to me. I felt alone. Ironically, I really wasn’t alone. Fast-track to more recent years and a few statistics, and you’ll learn that there are well over 11 million single mothers across North America.

I wrote SUPERWOMAN: A Funny and Reflective Look at Single Motherhood to remind other single mothers that they too are not alone. I wrote SUPERWOMAN because the truth is that as a young, single mother, I felt everything except “super”. I felt guilt. I felt overwhelmed. I even felt disappointed.

“When I grow up, I’m going to be a …”

As you can imagine, “struggling, single mother” was not how that sentence was supposed to end.

Something happens to us when we wake up to realize that life has not gone as planned. We forget who we are. When I was 24 and juggling the demands of family life with no support from my children’s father, I became consumed with laundry, making ends meet, and figuring out how to stretch the bare necessities. The ones that barely filled my pantry. (See what I did there?)

I truly believe that the saddest thing in the world is forgotten potential. I say this because I’ve lived it. Alone. Disappointed. Frustrated. Overwhelmed. As I sat on the edge of adulthood those many years ago, these words defined me. And guess what? I was wrong. But it would take decades for me to figure that out.

I wrote SUPERWOMAN because there’s an army of “broken” families out there and it’s up to us to remind that army – remind ourselves – that we are not broken. Yes, Life will throw us curve balls. That’s what She does. And while at the time it may feel like She’s trying to deplete us… perhaps even defeat us… trust me when I say that She’s not.

‘I wrote SUPERWOMAN because there’s an army of “broken” families out there and it’s up to us to remind that army – remind ourselves – that we are not broken.’

As parents, we have an important role to play in our children’s lives. That said, we also have a responsibility to ourselves. We are mothers, yes. But even before that, we are individuals with dreams, goals, and aspirations of our own. We have a purpose that goes beyond raising children. And when we forget that, we lose ourselves. We deprive ourselves of whatever drives us. At the same time, we deprive the rest of the world of our talents… our gifts… of the light that shines within us.

The way I see it, when we feel strongly about something, whether it be writing (as in my case) or dancing or cooking or working with people or painting walls or canvas… this is because we are meant to do that. People often wonder, “Why am I here? What is my purpose?” The answer to that question is in what drives you. What makes you smile from the inside out?

When I say that I lost myself, what I actually mean is that I forgot who I was. Consumed by the demands of adulting, I lost track of my own potential. I wrote SUPERWOMAN to help other single mothers, and women in general, to remember who they are.

While SUPERWOMAN is my story, I also interviewed other single mothers to give readers a glimpse into the lives and minds of others; their dating experiences, their career journeys, and the challenges they’ve faced and overcome.

I wrote SUPERWOMAN because we all need to know that we’re not alone. If my journey has taught me anything, it’s that we’re here for each other and that we’re all Superwomen here. While many of us go by the same name (mommy), we are the embodiment of individual passions waiting to be developed into talents; unique gifts waiting to mature with wings of their own.

‘… single mothers around the world should not only be recognized for their labours of love but also celebrated for their courage… Ladies, you deserve a freaking award!’

SUPERWOMAN officially launches on March 8, also known as International Women’s Day. Coincidence? Nope. Fitting. Fitting because, on this day that celebrates women’s achievements, single mothers around the world should not only be recognized for their labours of love but also celebrated for their courage. Feeding little mouths and minds all by themselves while managing the demands of a job… a career… and all the duties that come with managing a household.

Ladies, you deserve a freaking award!

SUPERWOMAN: A Funny and Reflective Look at Single Motherhood is available through Cynren Press

Feature image: Courtesy of Mona Andrei

Read more articles by Mona Andrei

Mona Andrei is an award-winning humour blogger, columnist, and author. In her most recent book, SUPERWOMAN: A Funny and Reflective Look at Single Motherhood, she shares her challenges and triumphs as a single mother as well as those of other single mothers. You can connect with Mona on Twitter.